The California sun sets through the large crystal clear window pane of a Hollywood high rise. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Even more rewarding given the fact that the food is cooked, yours truly at the helm. A moment of true serenity.

My mind begins to click on every past dilemma, doubt and question I previously harbored. No, I will never have everything figured out, but I know what I want to do… Finally. It feels like I’ve just been born. Like I just finished God’s 28 year tutorial and am now prepared to progress to the first level of the real game: Life. I’m so ready. The glare in my eyes caught from my lowly opaque reflection in the window tells all.

My friend Sarah is playing the most random/strangely appropriate tunes for this moment on her violin. It’s just us two. Maybe that’s why she’s relaxed enough to play with all of her soul, though I’d imagine the calming of the sun drifting into the skyline helped. Damn. She’s ambitious, talented, positive, loyal, attractive, open minded, extremely nerdy… everything a guy like me could want in a girl, yet her musical charm at this given moment is what’s making me see her in a different light. We work hard and enjoy each other’s company; why shouldn’t we be co-op partners?

I begin to notice how delightfully the fading sun dribbles down her skin like warm honey. She stops playing, smiles, looks down and then back up at me directly in the eye before adjusting her denim vest and continuing to play.  “She’s dope,” I mouth to myself before sighing. If only I was about that relationship life. But I catch myself before the typhoon of “what-ifs” come raining in. I had already made myself emotionally unavailable to her, and I’m NOT fucking up on this for a second time this year. As an aspiring BAWSE, I can’t afford to.

Looking back out, I can feel the shockwave of the sun’s descent and it almost feels like a crime to not be laying down and watching this from a beach chair. Mother nature can be cruel, but at this moment in time she’s making God’s bid for ultimate level designer much more apparent. I mention to Sarah that it’s funny how everything in nature has a purpose. Causality. When you witness the world’s beauty at this magnitude, you can’t help but believe that anything is possible and everything is logical. She replies: “Church.”

We toast to friendship and a successful year for both of us. She just graduated with her masters in fashion design and is getting ready to move to France to work with Lucien Pellat-Finet. Sarah lives in leggings, Chuck Taylors and dingy tops, yet her outlook on fashion design has always been impeccable. Funny how that works. We begin chatting about her next adventure, about her goals in moving overseas, fashion and philanthropy; and everything that rolls off of her lips is of the utmost confidence and determination. I promise you, this woman will change the world in some way, I can assure it.

As we sit and sip on our Mimosas in silence, or rather, in the ambience of the Hollywood streets, there’s this warmth that keeps reverberating through us internally. This is happiness. It has to be. Within seconds of thinking that, Sarah looks up at me and says “This is the happiest moment of my life so far.”

To which I reply: “Me too.”

Mechillen

Moments like this can’t be described with just words, but the feeling is one I wish could be shared. Welcome to my personal blog. I hope you all have wonderful holidays.

Malik Forté
Professional Nobody, Occasional Trash Talker